


Do You Wanna Be? I Think You Could Be (My Love)

by NoctisXit



Series: Blood On Their Hands (From Shards of a Heartbreak) [1]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Feelings Realization, Flowers, Light Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:15:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27679276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoctisXit/pseuds/NoctisXit
Summary: "'Is this about how you finally realized your feelings for your weird blue boyfriend that insists on fighting you at the candy shop, and now you are trying to figure out how to confess?' Karin interrupted, careless and looking at him pointedly. Ichigo felt himself turning bright red again, sputtering.'You knew!?' He hissed 'And what do you mean finally!?' She couldn't possibly mean that he had been acting very noticeably attracted to Grimmjow, with everyone realizing that he had feelings for the ex-Espada, except him, obviously.Oh, forget about confessing to the arrancar, Ichigo was running straight to Hueco Mundo and burying himself in some obscure part at the middle of the desert to disappear.No, he was not overreacting! Shut the fuck up, Zangetsu!"
Relationships: Grimmjow Jaegerjaques/Kurosaki Ichigo, Kurosaki Ichigo & Kurosaki Karin & Kurosaki Yuzu
Series: Blood On Their Hands (From Shards of a Heartbreak) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2024047
Comments: 6
Kudos: 135





	Do You Wanna Be? I Think You Could Be (My Love)

Ichigo stared. 

Then, he stared some more. 

He blinked, slowly, then rapidly, rubbed his eyes furiously and looked at the mirror once more, like in the past twenty minutes, his reflection remained right in front of him, same orange hair, same hazel eyes and slightly tanned skin, freckles, lean frame sporting a fair share of scars, and a very big, very captivating, gladiolus at the center of his chest. 

Ichigo proceeded to stare, again, just a bit. Mind racing, shaky fingers moving up to rest at the surface of the mirror, right where the flower appeared to be, wiping at it, like he was attempting to erase it from existence, but it remained there, etched in his skin.  _ Of course.  _ With a particular sense of hysteric desperation, he moved his hand to his own body, he rubbed at the stem, first lightly, when it didn't fade, he rubbed more intensely, still no apparent change. 

He would have laughed, but instead, something like a strangled noise came out of his throat, Zangetsu would have probably laughed at him for it, but Ichigo was 99% sure he was panicking, too, somewhere in the depths of his mind. That, or Ichigo _ was _ just panicked enough to ignore him. 

_ Maybe a bit of both. _

_ 'Or  _ **_maybe_ ** _ you are just being overdramatic.' _

_ Definitely a bit of both.  _

A snort somewhere between his frantic thoughts, he pretended to be panicked enough to ignore it for real,  _ this was, most definitely, really very serious. Thanks.  _

And, okay,  _ maybe  _ it wasn't really that unexpected considering the smudges of greens and blues that have been resting on his chest for the last few weeks, but in his defense, those could have been taken as bruises shaped in the way of a bud. It was an understandable confusion, Ichigo just took a look at it, picked the most logical explanation and then moved on with his life. His skin being marred with different shades of color was nothing new, and he had gotten some pretty odd marks through the course of his life. It was  _ totally  _ not his fault to have just olimpically ignored the  _ one  _ shape on his skin that actually  _ meant  _ something. 

  
  


Ignored it until it became impossible to be misinterpreted, that is. 

Another snort, Ichigo slumped forward, the gladiolus stretched and followed along the movements of his chest, red started to tint his cheeks and neck and he bit his lips, tracing lightly the outline of the petals, shade the softest kind of blue he had ever seen. To his mind came the image of a sharp smirk, messy hair and wild  _ pretty  _ eyes. And he smiled, dumb and sweet and in  _ love.  _

_ He was in love.  _

And it had taken the blooming of his feelings across his chest for him to notice, after another fight, full of excitement and banter and violence, and after another soft moment of tenderness and respite, seeing Grimmjow being framed by the dying sun, handsome and happy and  _ pleased.  _ Making his heart skip a bit, feeling warm and fuzzy, and  _ joyous- _

_ And, oh gods.  _

He  _ got it so bad, it wasn't even funny.  _

Yeah, Zangetsu was laughing his ass off, but it wasn't funny, damn it! 

Ichigo's face burned, Grimmjow would have probably made one of his stupidly good-looking smirks and made some stupid comment about how he was honoring his name by resembling and actual strawberry, and he would have most definitely kicked his ass for it. But as it stood, that was only a fictional scenario conjured by Ichigo's no good, very bad, brain, that was torturing him by making him picture the idiot arrancar responsible for his current dilemma. 

The youngman stifled the next  _ sorta  _ muted wail that tried to move past his lips and he stumbled backwards, feet slipping on wet tiles making him fall backwards, he yelped, loudly, and in the split second it took him to knock over at least half of the stuff in the bathroom and crash against the floor, he decided to yell every profanity he knew to the ex-Espada, because, clearly, this was his fault too somehow. 

[...] 

Yuzu paused momentarily, food left unattended just during the small moment she took to eye curiously towards the stairs, hearing the commotion that was being caused in the bathroom courtesy of her older brother, considering the two previous choked noises, the current tumbling of objects  _ and _ body, and multitude of insults, she couldn't stop her lips for curving into a satisfied smile. 

"Fucking finally." Karin proclaimed loudly from her place on the couch, with a grunt of exasperation. 

Neither of them added anything else, but the amusement the whole thing was causing them was palpable. 

_ Oh, _ teasing Ichigo was going to be so  _ fun, _ after some things were tended to, of course. 

[...] 

"Ichi-nii?" The small call made Ichigo look away from the blacked out screen of his cellphone, thoughts pausing for a moment to let him pay attention to Yuzu, brows furrowed and lips pressed together in clear worry. 

Ichigo cursed quietly, knowing he had allowed his worry to become a very apparent issue, in his defense, it had been kinda difficult to remember he should have gone straight to his room after dinner to mull about his _just recently discovered feelings,_ in order to decide what he should do _now._ Why was this whole thing so difficult anyway? He had fought countless battles, launched himself recklessly to unknown dangers and done so many more with little to no reassurance that he would make it out alive, all without sparing the possible consequences a single thought, but he couldn't bring himself to _act_ for this. He felt the need to spew out a few more curses, probably burrow his head between his hands again, but no, he had to pull it together and _address Yuzu properly because she was still looking at him with worry and he still had done nothing but stare back at her like some moron that was still processing pretty simple stuff._

Which he _ wasn't  _ doing. He was  _ planning.  _ They were c _ ompletely _ different things,  _ thanks, Zangetsu.  _

_ Damn it!  _ He was sidetracking again,  _ alright, focus, Ichigo! You can do this, just answer normally, shrug it off and say everything is perfectly okay.  _

"Uh, what?"  _ Nailed it.  _

Yuzu's mouth twitched lightly, like a smile was aching to appear on her lips but she was making an effort to keep her current expression, she shook her head, then spoke again "Is something troubling you?" 

Ichigo blinked, expression going from surprise to annoyance and finally settling in that particular face he made whenever he was trying to say something reassuring to both Karin and her, that would allow him to carry the burden of countless secrets and dangers on his own. Yuzu almost smiled in exasperated fondness, the whole reaction was so  _ undeniable  _ Ichigo's, that she couldn't help but find it adorable, and unbelievably  _ frustrating.  _ This was not a terrible danger threatening to destroy life as they knew it, but it was still clearly troubling to their brother, and he couldn't still possibly fathom the thought of having them help him through  _ his  _ struggles. Not because he thought they couldn't handle it, or because he felt it would be too much trouble to talk to them, but because he wanted them to live free of more worries than what they already harbored, because he was caring, self-sacrificing and  _ stupid  _ like that. Yuzu knew, and she loved her brother with all her heart and usually tried to make things easier for him by remaining to the side and being as involved as he would let her be, but sometimes she just had to push forward and get involved anyway, because she knew just as well that Ichigo drowned himself in the smallest of things that involved actually thinking of his own happiness and well-being. More so if it had to do with  _ his _ feelings. 

Honestly, thinking of it, it made so much sense he hadn't realized what almost everyone around him had known for months now. Ichigo focused so much in others, it appeared almost impossible to have him actually stop for a second and acknowledge his own feelings. It was just sheer luck there was a part of their anatomy dedicated specifically to help them express, at least, their romantic feelings, because if that wasn't the case, Yuzu didn't know just how many  _ years  _ her brother could have spend living completely oblivious, probably ruining his chance at a relationship that made him so  _ incredibly happy.  _

Not that Karin or her would have allowed it, but still,  _ possibilities.  _ She stopped her musings the moment Ichigo finally had gathered himself enough to answer in a way he deemed satisfactory. 

"Ah, no, or well, yes, but it's nothing serious, you know? Just… a tiny situation that I'm still thinking through." He paused, frowning, probably not sure if he had been convincing "I'm sure I will sort it out soon, so don't worry too much about it, alright?" 

He smiled, tiny and wobbly but genuine, and Yuzu almost felt bad about the way she morphed her expression into that pout she knew Ichigo couldn't deny anything, placing one of her hands over his to stop him from leaving the table "Can we help?" 

Ichigo stopped, paralyzed and then gapping, spluttering lightly and trying to look anywhere but to Yuzu's face, but he knew that she got him exactly where she wanted him. When he heard some shuffling and saw Karin taking a seat in the chair next to him, looking at him with her own version of  _ puppy eyes _ , he realized he was officially trapped, he sighed, long and suffering, but knew when he needed to concede defeat "Fine, but I insist in saying it's a pretty minor thing." 

For the satisfied smiles both twins were making, he knew his last comment had gone completely ignored. 

"So…" 

"Is this about how you finally realized your feelings for your weird blue boyfriend that insists on fighting you at the candy shop, and now you are trying to figure out how to confess?" Karin interrupted, careless and looking at him pointedly. Ichigo felt himself turning bright red again, sputtering. 

"You knew!?" He hissed "And what do you mean finally!?" She couldn't possibly mean that he had been  _ acting  _ very noticeably attracted to Grimmjow, with everyone realizing that he had feelings for the ex-Espada, except him,  _ obviously.  _

_ Oh, forget about confessing to the arrancar, Ichigo was running straight to Hueco Mundo and burying himself in some obscure part at the middle of the desert to disappear.  _

_ No, he was not overreacting! Shut the fuck up, Zangetsu!  _

"... Was it really that obvious?" Ichigo finally muttered, curled up, face hidden between his arms, hands clenching at his hair desperately, ashamed to a degree he didn't think possible, was he really  _ that _ oblivious? He felt a hand rubbing at his back, probably trying to comfort him. 

"It's okay, Ichi-nii," Yuzu answered, trying to sound cheerful. 

Ichigo groaned and slumped forward even more,  _ that was a yes.  _

Yuzu glared at Karin in a very  _ 'This is why I told you we had to act delicately',  _ Karin huffed and shot back a  _ 'Excuse you, I was direct and very delicate',  _ but when Yuzu's expression turned into something more angry and that spelled  _ 'Fix this or else'  _ very clearly, she groaned and relented, giving some light pats to Ichigo's shoulder. 

"I don't think goat-face suspects anything, if that makes you feel any better." Karin amended, lamely, hearing Ichigo let out a strangled whine. 

"It… doesn't." He deadpanned. 

Yuzu glared at her once more, but Karin raised her hands defensively,  _ 'At least she tried!'  _ Her twin rolled her eyes and focused back on their brother. 

"Don't worry about that, Ichi-nii, I mean, yeah, it was a bit apparent, but at least you know now," Yuzu started, trying to be patient and understanding, coaxing Ichigo to open up again "The important part is what you do from here." 

Ichigo tensed at that, before straightening slightly, looking at Yuzu "I… guess." 

He allowed the words to settle in and mulled over them, because they were true, weren't they? Yeah, maybe he had lost time by refusing to look more deeply into the things he was experiencing, the signals his body was trying to give him, and he had perhaps made a bit of a fool of himself for the last few months, but he had been ignorant back then, no matter how much of that ignorance had been his fault. What he did after realizing the truths residing in his heart was what would define him as just a moron, or a moron  _ and _ a coward. He had to face his own feelings with the same courage he had shown to every battle, because if he couldn't do that, then, just how could he hope Grimmjow would even reciprocate? 

Was love something hollow's could feel in any case? 

Ichigo bit his lip, hard, trying to stop that train of thought, and the doubts that accompanied it, he couldn't believe in defeat before even trying, couldn't give leaves the chance to poison the flower in his chest, not yet, because if he was doomed to die at the hands of Grimmjow, heartbroken or slayed for being deemed unworthy, he would at least meet his end with his head held high and feelings enounced directly by his lips. 

  
  


Karin snorted, so Ichigo looked at her next "That's more like it, dumbass. Try before you give in" She smiled at him, confident and proud, and Ichigo was struck by the warm feeling he got whenever he was hit face first with just how much the girls around him had grown, and the extent to which they had his back. 

"Karin is right! Have a bit more faith that things can work out in your favor, Ichi-nii, you have pulled amazing stunts even with every odd against you." Yuzu added, smiling at him with pride "I know we don't have the full details of everything you have been through, but we do know you have always given your everything for others, and that you have managed to pull through, so, give yourself the same chance." 

To accent her words, Yuzu nudged at his phone, left forgotten at the table when the conversation started. 

"Yeah!" Karin confirmed "And if that asshole makes you feel the slightest bit heartbroken, he won't know a moment of peace, seriously,  _ I  _ have been getting better at this seeing ghosts business, and I will get him!" 

She smirked, boasting, and Ichigo laughed, genuinely relieved and feeling more determined about what he had to do. As to prove it, he made a move to grab at his cellphone, unlocking it to look at the conversation he had left open. He catched the victorious expressions the twins were exchanging at his actions, and it was clear this had been the place they had wanted things to end from the moment Yuzu had roped him into this conversation, Ichigo had to give more credit to them,  _ if they wanted, they could probably get away with murder.  _

Even Zangetsu was a bit impressed. 

Finally, Ichigo took a deep breath, focusing on the chat in front of him and what he wanted to say. 

_ 'Hey' _

He began, frowned, then added:

_ 'Could we meet?'  _

A beat. 

_ 'There's something I need to tell you'  _

Ichigo looked at his messages with baited breath, dubious if he had been convincing, maybe Grimmjow will tell him to piss off, or ignore him, though the arrancar had done that rarely for some time now, in any case, maybe he would mock him, or tell him to just spit out whatever he had to say, or…  _ Oh, look at that, Grimmjow was typing.  _

Ichigo was taken aback, the way he fumbled with his phone proved it, he stared, wide-eyed and unblinking, much like the girls at either side of him. 

_ 'sup'  _

_ 'eh? yeah sure, dont have anything better to do'  _

_ 'see you in 5 or smg'  _

Ichigo grinned, relieved, anxious and thrilled in equal amounts, Karin whooped, giving him a punch in the arm, while Yuzu clapped excitedly, standing up and running to the kitchen, mumbling about _snacks_ _and_ _causing a good impression, what kind of food those he prefer? Ichi-nii…!_

[...] 

Meanwhile, Grimmjow grunted as he stood up from the spot where he had been lazing around, throwing his phone carelessly as he moved towards his abandoned gigai, should he show up in it? Ichigo had said he wanted to talk, and since they were most likely meeting in his house, the arrancar was very certain there was a low-chance of something  _ too  _ violent taking place, so there might not be much of a hassle with using this body still. And if it did, screw it, not like he would keel over and die alongside it. 

Still would be a bitch to explain when he had to walk around town to do errands for Urahara and people were left to wonder  _ how could he be here if he had been very dead the last time they heard of him!?  _ But whatever. 

He traced the sketchy silhouette of the flower in his chest, barely visible while he was in his true form, but extremely clear on his gigai, petals a pretty orange he despised, leaves a bright and poisonous green, deadlier than any other wound damned Kurosaki could have inflicted on him. 

As he closed his eyes, feeling the pull and stretch of his soul accommodating to the body now surrounding him, and feeling tiny pinpricks where his 'heart' was, Grimmjow wondered through how many of this gigais he would have to go through before he shattered completely. 

_ A  _ snarl _ , _ he was four down now, because he wasn't going to go down without a fight. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is done, ahhhhh! It's all kinds of messy and probably a bit OoC, but thanks for reading!


End file.
